Faith & Roses

A Higher Power’s presence and power are all around. In everything. When I am choosing to stay in the midst of the battleground, the ego/psyche/mind—whatever I choose to call it—can and does dull my vision; all of my senses… And floods my mind with questions and doubts.

“Why is _____ paralyzed, unable to walk or speak? Why is _____ suffering on his way out of this life? Why is Mom riddled with dementia, unable to care for herself to greater and lesser degrees in every area of her life? Why is ‘Mom Mary’ going to turn 99 years old and waiting to be placed in a nursing home? I’m too tired; I need more time; I cant deal with Mom much longer; Where will I be in 7 or 8 years?”

And from the questions and doubts and fears of the psyche/ego/mind—come all of the false, deadly agreements I’ve made and nurtured with “it” and my self (lower case “s”). “I’m a loser; I’m stupid’ I’m boring; I blew it all; the gifts and the opportunities; … why didn’t I (fill in the blank)…; Why do I (fill in the blank)…; When will I ever (fill in the blank)…; I should have more; I should have different; I should be different; I’ll never (fill in the blank).” And without my conscious awareness I gave my permission… to the Litany of the Trifecta of self abuse: Resentment, Anger and Fear.

When I abandon my Higher Power, I abandon Self. When I abandon Self, I abandon God. We are forever, inextricably One; That’s my belief. When I say “Yes!” to my Higher Power I say “Yes” to my Self (capital “S”.).

“Faith is a gift. God gives us a certain amount of faith to live our lives. Faith for the Future. Faith in God’s power to guide us. Faith in God’s ability to take care of us. “God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3). Sometimes God also gives us a special measure of faith for the moment we are in. When he does, we need to act on it.”
S. Omartain