Stories
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It is my “NA Anniversary.” Thirty-one years. Thirty-one years ago I was living with a husband and our two children. I had run out of ways and means to continue to medicate myself. I had no idea of anything I felt inside. No idea of how to stop the drugs. I was scared and didn’t…
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Today is the day I wondered about six, twelve, eighteen … twenty-four months ago. I am grateful for faith’s role in handling what must be done for Mom’s estate. Hired a company to come and empty the bedrooms. I “leaked,” for sure, interacting with my sister and I “leaked” at other moments as well. However,…
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Writing is, in a sense, a measure of time. I always begin with the date, and I always feel the same thing: look at time move. I often find that what really matters has nothing to do with results; it has to do with who I want to be as a human. My eyes see…
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Thank you HP for my home. I am happy here. I feel safe. It is just enough for me. In other words, I am satisfied. Content. I’ve grown accustomed to living on my own. In my Spirit, I’ve pretty much released “the holidays” this year. Turkey day; Spend-a-thon day (formerly known as Christmas)… and New…
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Living in Mom’s house. I never really wanted to. I still feel that way now. Some folks have mentioned the benefit of taking Mom’s house, and the benefit they offer is always financial. But I can’t imagine Mom’s house ever being anything other than her house. I cannot imagine Mom’s house looking any other way…
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My human mind is tricky. It sees and judges. It hears and decides. It feels a sensation and responds immediately. It wanders incessantly. It debates itself. It goes up and down on a seesaw of emotions. There is little to no distance between its ideas and its instructions … this is not a place in…
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Yesterday there was a weight of sadness on my heart… missing Mom. I prayed (talked to God). Talked to her. Gave myself the truth that grief is inevitable. I miss her. I am trying to live in the gratitude of having spent so much time with her over the last four years. Visits, TV, movies,…
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Long ago, my father had returned from one of his two Naval stays in Japan with a beautiful silkscreen of a tiger, which he quickly made a frame for. That tiger was a part of our household as far back as I can remember. It sure is beautiful. I remember Mom telling me how much…
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I sat at Mom’s and watched some TV. Breathed deeply Mom’s “smell.” Her house. Played a game on my phone; had a frozen banana. I stood where mom breathed her last and I prayed out loud. All that is in Mom’s house is hers. It belongs to her. Mom made possible her daughters having anything…
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I promised Mom that I would be “smarter.” I spoke those words to her. They were among the last things I said to her this side of heaven. Smarter:– Wisdom– Non-attachment– Speaking less– Listening more– Pausing: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I just watched Mom’s Ring video from Thursday, October 12 into Friday, October 13.…
Faith & Roses 