Faith & Roses

Yesterday I wrote Mom’s obituary. I spent some time … and of course, thank you Higher Spirit Power. I wrote what I’d like to share at mom’s private hour tomorrow. The God of my understanding proofread: additions, deletions, copy and pastes, commas and periods. I took care of things with Holy Cross Cemetery. Mom made is so easy. A shout out to the DiPasquale family, in particular Grand pop Frank, for working hard and buying the plot way back when.

At some point, and that point is today, I’ll see my sister. So strange. Our Mom passed away Friday October 13th and here we are at Tuesday the 17th and we haven’t hugged, or shared more than a brief phone call and some texts. Time moves forward and I must move along with it. Narcotics Anonymous literature talks about “minor set backs … petty annoyances” … or whatever the exact words are, eating away at our Spirits. That would be an emotional experience that I cannot afford; as in I actually can’t “pay” the price. I don’t need to be drained; I need to feel filled up. Above all, my Higher Power fills me up. And when “we,” people, fill one another up, we’re really just sharing what God gave.

Thank you Higher Power for free will. To choose to follow you and countless others who walk on that “High Road.” It’s a heavy burden, free will. For a flawed woman like me, it can be a heavy burden on a see-saw of thoughts and emotions. Yet I have also experienced free will as a priceless gift beyond all measure.

Mom, I “love you to life.” The people in Narcotics Anonymous told me the truth: I would walk the path of the last four years alongside of you all over again. Yep, I would do “it” all over again. Indeed and for certain. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you … over and over again and again … my heart and soul, my very Spirit reaches out to you with these two simple words. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is important. Nothing remains that is pressing. Nothing else can capture my attention, my efforts, my feelings.

Just “thank you.”