Faith & Roses

I have learned something to be true that I once did not believe. I learned that I can love someone with all my heart and yet not thrive in the relationship. I can love someone with all my heart and feel alone. I can love someone intensely and be willing to sacrifice my beliefs and my heart’s desires … even do all I can to stay because of the power of my emotions. I learned that love is more, much more, than a feeling.

I wonder…
A co-commitment to care for each other physically, spiritually, financially; to spend time together, making room for one another’s likes and dislikes. To laugh together and accomplish goals together.

I learned that love demands of me accepting someone at face value … to see with eyes wide open their assets and shortcomings. Being willing to be by someone’s side in reciprocity. I learned about the desire to grow together and as individuals; to understand and be understood. I must be willing to accept temperance and perspective to my self-centered nature. I learned about Ego: powerlessness; honesty; denial.

Holding on to something that I believe in my heart of hearts I needed to let go of… it was exquisitely painful. Yet, there was no way “out” but through. The moment of my surrender was not planned or timed. I was surprised! I will never forget the swift heavenly, celestial sense that called me to step into time beyond here. My Higher Power picking me up and carrying me. Opening the door and throwing open the windows … turning every light on and gliding me forward.

Only in retrospect can I close my eyes and still sense being lifted up and carried away. It really was that deep for me. The desire to take my will back (and “back” it would be) lessened slowly over time.

No harming self — no harming others. No trying to do God’s job. No questioning a Higher Power’s ways. Waltzing in Spirit: Hope, Faith, Trust — one, two three; one two three.

• recipient of endless grace and mercy
• chosen for a reason and a season
• wit
• humor
• trustworthiness
• integrity
• generosity
• brave
• kind
• friend
• Woman … Woman … Woman