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Thank you Higher Power. I have experienced grace: blessings that were given to me that I did not deserve. And I have experienced mercy: consequences withheld that were absolutely what I “bought” through my actions and inactions. I have never before felt this true a desire to choose your will over mine. I have never…
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Daydreaming: I am in a jail cell. 6’x8′. A momentary flash of self-pity. Wow, poor You. At that moment, the cell door opens… wide. I’m hesitating… why??? Faint whisper: you have a choice… you can go. Light bulb moment: Wow, this is what it looks like when I refuse to forgive. It’s what fear and…
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And so it goes. More patience with Mom. Being willing to ask for help and share the burden of my heart with those few who know what I am learning: there is nothing to be fixed, managed or controlled here. Turning my mind’s focus in amazement at what she still can do, and not on…
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I have a silent, running critic and dictator living inside of me and it is a relentless bully. I don’t think the world will ever recover from the pandemic. It has been easy for me to focus on the single-minded selfishness of human beings; to see how much of life here and now is based…
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I am emotionally and mentally pulled back into the past with Mom. Her pessimism shakes my “little girl” fears wide awake. Hearing her say “I can’t.” Her stubborn refusal to accept help. Her negativity and complaining leaves me gasping for air, like someone is trying to suffocate me. I find myself comparing her to my…
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I have allowed myself to receive a painful truth: I miss my mother. It’s painful. I am mourning the loss of someone who is still alive. A loss of conversation; doing things together and having shared experiences; getting her perspective on things; sharing in her large knowledge of practical living; her delicious cooking; her physical…
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A Higher Power’s presence and power are all around. In everything. When I am choosing to stay in the midst of the battleground, the ego/psyche/mind—whatever I choose to call it—can and does dull my vision; all of my senses… And floods my mind with questions and doubts. “Why is _____ paralyzed, unable to walk or…
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I am of an age where I’m aware … gratefully aware, that I have less road ahead of me than I do behind me. That’s “this life.” That’s my humanity. It’s not an atrocity. A cruel joke or unfair. It simply is. I live in and through an Ultimate Authority in an infinite “universe.” That’s…
Faith & Roses 