Hope
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Hope in recovery from addiction. “Now, we know that the time has come when that tired old lie, “Once an addict, always an addict,” will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. We do recover.” Written in 1965 – Narcotics Anonymous “We Do Recover” If I can get (and stay) clean,…
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I am depressed and in my Bardo. My life of work, caring for Mom, and my “next life.” I am old. That is true. However, age can be attacked or embraced; respected. Maybe there isn’t much for me to do in this Bardo. I can acknowledge my depression and learn from the shadows. In-between-lives. Can…
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Something I stumbled upon … If you feel like you hate everyone: eat.If you feel like everyone hates you: sleep.If you feel like you hate yourself: take a shower.If you feel like everyone hates everyone: go outside.If you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts: write them down.If you feel lost and alone: call a friend.If you…
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And so it begins. I’m simply loving this. Sitting here in the quiet of the morning, daylight streaming through Mom’s stained glass in my kitchen window; ‘Nanda, my [never had a cat before in my entire life] new roommate zealously working at her scratching post. I shake my head marveling. Precious, tangible memories of my…
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It is my “NA Anniversary.” Thirty-one years. Thirty-one years ago I was living with a husband and our two children. I had run out of ways and means to continue to medicate myself. I had no idea of anything I felt inside. No idea of how to stop the drugs. I was scared and didn’t…
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Living in Mom’s house. I never really wanted to. I still feel that way now. Some folks have mentioned the benefit of taking Mom’s house, and the benefit they offer is always financial. But I can’t imagine Mom’s house ever being anything other than her house. I cannot imagine Mom’s house looking any other way…
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Yesterday there was a weight of sadness on my heart… missing Mom. I prayed (talked to God). Talked to her. Gave myself the truth that grief is inevitable. I miss her. I am trying to live in the gratitude of having spent so much time with her over the last four years. Visits, TV, movies,…
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My mind nas been thinking of the times when I was traveling along my spiritual journey … immature in the ways of gratitude and humility. When I fell short of the mark of unconditional love and respect that Mom so freely gave to me, and which she deserved to have reciprocated. In the past four…
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Bear witness and don’t step ahead of God. That is my revised assignment. That is what comes to my heart as I sit here, in my home, in the quiet of early morning. Bear witness and follow my God. There is no more fretting and flitting from place to place. Bear witness and follow my…
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God Is Good. Start with the truth to get to and remain in the truth.It’s been difficult to see Mom fading away, yet bearing witness is a gift in many ways. Death is a part of this life. A doorway, a transition, leaving behind this time and space continuum. Mom is moving forward. For Mom,…
Faith & Roses 