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I have had many New Year’s Eves filled with groups of folks in many different places and times of my life. From banging pots and pans on the steps of my childhood row home, to wild “don’t remember a thing” eves, through to babies and small children at parades. I have also sat in NA…
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I am sharing Christmas with Mom. I am so grateful to have Mom. No matter our human conditions changing, ebbing, flowing and deteriorating. Love remains love. My Higher Power has schooled me not to hold too tightly to the things of this world. Some folks are losing their minds, laser-focused on creating some physical magic…
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My first day — December 1, 1992 — no drugs to alter my mind, mood or body. “As we grow spiritually and find a Power greater than ourselves, we begin to realize that as long as our spiritual needs are met, our living problems are reduced to a point of comfort. When we forget where…
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Thank you Higher Power. I have experienced grace: blessings that were given to me that I did not deserve. And I have experienced mercy: consequences withheld that were absolutely what I “bought” through my actions and inactions. I have never before felt this true a desire to choose your will over mine. I have never…
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Daydreaming: I am in a jail cell. 6’x8′. A momentary flash of self-pity. Wow, poor You. At that moment, the cell door opens… wide. I’m hesitating… why??? Faint whisper: you have a choice… you can go. Light bulb moment: Wow, this is what it looks like when I refuse to forgive. It’s what fear and…
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And so it goes. More patience with Mom. Being willing to ask for help and share the burden of my heart with those few who know what I am learning: there is nothing to be fixed, managed or controlled here. Turning my mind’s focus in amazement at what she still can do, and not on…
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I have a silent, running critic and dictator living inside of me and it is a relentless bully. I don’t think the world will ever recover from the pandemic. It has been easy for me to focus on the single-minded selfishness of human beings; to see how much of life here and now is based…
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I am emotionally and mentally pulled back into the past with Mom. Her pessimism shakes my “little girl” fears wide awake. Hearing her say “I can’t.” Her stubborn refusal to accept help. Her negativity and complaining leaves me gasping for air, like someone is trying to suffocate me. I find myself comparing her to my…
Faith & Roses 