caregiving
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A ‘short fuse’ with Mom this week. And admitting that seems so screwed up to me. What reason or excuse can there be to act out on someone who is helpless over their cognitive state? I was sharing a bit about it with Marjory today and she said: “Breaking news: you’re not perfect. And even…
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Tameka and I took mom to Live! casino yesterday. We also had the bonus of meeting up with Roe G. We were out for a couple of hours. I gave the casino my money and mission was accomplished: Mom got out in the world. Tameka continues to settle in beyond all my hopes. My assignment…
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I remain amazed and grateful at the consistency and power that writing brings into my Spirit. “Now” is okay. I am here “now.” We found an aid that Mom can tolerate. She’s quite good. She can engage Mom where Mom is now. I do recognize that I have never had to do any of this…
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Pretty intense week. I hurt Mom’s feelings twice in one day. Heck, in one hour! It felt awful, yet it was probably worse for her. We hung in there together until the next moment came. Having a little work done in the house threw her… and me. But we got through it. When I asked…
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Mom was kind of heavy on my yesterday. The feelings of “not doing enough” for her came on me. As we say nowadays “I’m her person.” And it sometimes feels like a heavy weight. Mom depends on me for almost everything these days. My Higher Power graciously gives me the strength I need to help…
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“Just For Today… I will surrender to win.” Narcotics Anonymous Together with a Power greater than myself and skilled and knowledgeable legal guides, I move mom into the next phase of her life. 90 years old on Saturday. As Mom spends down her time here (and, hey, no drama please… we are all spending down…
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I am sharing Christmas with Mom. I am so grateful to have Mom. No matter our human conditions changing, ebbing, flowing and deteriorating. Love remains love. My Higher Power has schooled me not to hold too tightly to the things of this world. Some folks are losing their minds, laser-focused on creating some physical magic…
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And so it goes. More patience with Mom. Being willing to ask for help and share the burden of my heart with those few who know what I am learning: there is nothing to be fixed, managed or controlled here. Turning my mind’s focus in amazement at what she still can do, and not on…
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I am emotionally and mentally pulled back into the past with Mom. Her pessimism shakes my “little girl” fears wide awake. Hearing her say “I can’t.” Her stubborn refusal to accept help. Her negativity and complaining leaves me gasping for air, like someone is trying to suffocate me. I find myself comparing her to my…
Faith & Roses 