Yesterday there was a weight of sadness on my heart… missing Mom. I prayed (talked to God). Talked to her. Gave myself the truth that grief is inevitable. I miss her. I am trying to live in the gratitude of having spent so much time with her over the last four years. Visits, TV, movies, drives, music, laughter. Bringing her to my house.
I think of the Scripture verse “Count it all joy…”. And I do. The grief will shift in weight over time. I can put it down when it’s just too heavy. I can choose where I am spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically when I carry it and choose with the Spirit’s guidance when and where I put it down. Grief insists on my participation.
I want to respect my mother’s memory and I see the grief as a continuation of my love for her. I will miss her laughter and smiles. The “I love you too” when she walked me to the door. I want to honor her bravery, selflessness, acceptance… her wisdom. Her strength. She loved me unconditionally and always.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
James 1: 2-4
Faith & Roses 
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