Stories
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Pretty intense week. I hurt Mom’s feelings twice in one day. Heck, in one hour! It felt awful, yet it was probably worse for her. We hung in there together until the next moment came. Having a little work done in the house threw her… and me. But we got through it. When I asked…
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As I age, I can appreciate more deeply the largeness of acts of lovingkindness. I am aging and I am humbled at the sheer presence of God and the freedom of choice God has always provided me. That’s the “hit” of Perfect Love. The relief is immediate. No blinding lights; no visions; no paper airplanes…
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Mom was kind of heavy on my yesterday. The feelings of “not doing enough” for her came on me. As we say nowadays “I’m her person.” And it sometimes feels like a heavy weight. Mom depends on me for almost everything these days. My Higher Power graciously gives me the strength I need to help…
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“Just For Today… I will surrender to win.” Narcotics Anonymous Together with a Power greater than myself and skilled and knowledgeable legal guides, I move mom into the next phase of her life. 90 years old on Saturday. As Mom spends down her time here (and, hey, no drama please… we are all spending down…
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I have had many New Year’s Eves filled with groups of folks in many different places and times of my life. From banging pots and pans on the steps of my childhood row home, to wild “don’t remember a thing” eves, through to babies and small children at parades. I have also sat in NA…
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I am sharing Christmas with Mom. I am so grateful to have Mom. No matter our human conditions changing, ebbing, flowing and deteriorating. Love remains love. My Higher Power has schooled me not to hold too tightly to the things of this world. Some folks are losing their minds, laser-focused on creating some physical magic…
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My first day — December 1, 1992 — no drugs to alter my mind, mood or body. “As we grow spiritually and find a Power greater than ourselves, we begin to realize that as long as our spiritual needs are met, our living problems are reduced to a point of comfort. When we forget where…
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Thank you Higher Power. I have experienced grace: blessings that were given to me that I did not deserve. And I have experienced mercy: consequences withheld that were absolutely what I “bought” through my actions and inactions. I have never before felt this true a desire to choose your will over mine. I have never…
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And so it goes. More patience with Mom. Being willing to ask for help and share the burden of my heart with those few who know what I am learning: there is nothing to be fixed, managed or controlled here. Turning my mind’s focus in amazement at what she still can do, and not on…
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Daydreaming: I am in a jail cell. 6’x8′. A momentary flash of self-pity. Wow, poor You. At that moment, the cell door opens… wide. I’m hesitating… why??? Faint whisper: you have a choice… you can go. Light bulb moment: Wow, this is what it looks like when I refuse to forgive. It’s what fear and…
Faith & Roses 