Faith & Roses

Courage: Bravery. Mettle. Resolution. Perseverance. Determination. Tenacity. Audacity.

Resolution. Perseverance.
One of the most courageous things I have ever done was learning to walk through the hours without seeing my children every single day.

Way back when—30 years ago now?—man, that was a dark, dark time. I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. Morning or evening, sun or moon, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t see a way out.

But I kept putting one foot in front of the other.

Public opinion was loud. The rumor mill was running hot, with events being reported by the “Fox News” of whisper-down-the-lane. Yet, in the midst of dealing with the consequences, I remained laser-focused on two points of light: my daughter and my son.

They were my seeing-eye dog. They were my long, white cane.

Looking back now? Wow. Just wow.

So, yes. I was brave. I kept going in the face of deep adversity. Through it all, my children became brave, too. We grew so incredibly close. We hung onto one another like people do when they are stuck on a tiny raft in the middle of a vast ocean.

Audacity. Tenacity. Mettle.
Being pregnant with my third child at 39 years old? Audacity, for sure. Mettle, absolutely.

It was the same deal all over again: plenty of public opinions and whisper networks. But it resulted in the greatest move I ever made: saying “yes” to life. His life. Saying yes to my Higher Power.

Bravery. Determination.
Closing a 20-year relationship took a level of resolution and determination beyond anything I thought I had within me. There was so much darkness.

Yet, unlike the time apart from my children, I wouldn’t change a single thing about this choice. I had to go. I stayed motionless in fear longer than I care to recall—longer than I was even aware of at the time.

But today? I am just thankful to be sitting here right now.

Breathing easily. Actually, breathing at all.